Task 2d Inquiry
Some morning, I get up bed actively. Some morning, I get up bed very slowly, fighting with the tiredness and fighting to the temptation of warm comfortable bed.
But, to be honest when I wake up, Sunny or Wet, Cold or Warm, Dark or Shine, they do not really matter to me. Yes, ｔhe weather and ｔhe temperature do EFFECT my body and mind, as I am a human. But, as long as I know that there is a class in a morning, I happily jump up from the bed!
Having a class in a morning makes me really excited and enthusiastic!
Some people say, another day, another class and they cannot be bothered doing classes anymore! But, I really do not understand that:S
Doing a class is not just a warm up for a day to me. When I am doing a class, I am talking to my body; I am having a conversation to my body through the exercise and music.
Someday, my body is tired and a bit stiff. Someday, my body is so light, happy and feels like there is no limit!
When I dance, I use my body as an instrument. So, doing a class for me, it is like tuning an instrument. And, the instrument`s condition affected by the weather and even small change of the temperature.
So, when Ｉ tune it, I have to be very thrift, listen carefully, feel carefully. So, I do not miss any small modifications the instrument makes. And, this is very important that to be very patient about this process! It is like diving in to the sea. Not important how fast I swim, the important thing is not to rush, slowly dive deeper and deeper inside of my body and mind. Eventually, my body and mind get quiet, calm, world feels so slow and silence, my mind becomes blank.
When I am doing class, I always try to leave my emotion outside of the studio. Because feeling and mood do effect to our movement. That is not a bad thing, which is a wonderful thing what makes us as human, not robots! Otherwise, we cannot create something artistic to share with people.
However, I believe solid, flawless technique is essential for ballet. Like if actors wish to act on stage so naturally, so freely, they got to speak clearly and pronounce correctly. Actors use their voice to speak; we dancers use our flawless technique to share something with the audience.
So, we must train and keep the physical standard high and, as ready as possible to perform on stage. It is like sharpen a knife every day, if the knife does not get sharpened, it will get rusty and dull. It won`t be able to cut any thing L
So, in classes, I just have to focus on my body, mind and technique.
Well, more precisely explained, I am harmonizing my body, mind and technique. These aren`t three different things, they are together as one. Supposed be!
As I mentioned before I use my body as an instrument, however when I am dancing, my body does not just work as an instrument. There is a big orchestra in side of me when I am dancing. My brain is the conductor, arms, legs, body, back, legs, feet….They all become different instruments. Well, more likely they react to the music and all move differently. Like a ｐｅｒｃｕｓｓｉｏｎ!
However, I cannot get in to this level or stage of mind and body often L as my dancing standard is far from perfect. But, roughly once in a month, when my body and mind are equally awake and ready, they coordinate and harmonize so well, then I can slowly get in to the world of my own! I guess, good dancers can get in to this stage even every day, much quicker than I do. And, they are feeling and experiencing something I have never felt and experienced before!
Hopefully, one day I can get that standard or least would like to get as close as I can!
Probably, that is one of the reasons why I go to the studio and train myself every day.
And, another reason I dance is, of course, because I love being on stage J
However, the ａｐｏｒｏｓｅ from the audience, that can be dangerous.
Only because sometimes when dancers do bad performances, still somehow the audiences love it and when dancers do great performance, sometimes the audiences do not response. What I meant is I do not just perform to make the audience happy.
If I started to do that, I think I will lose myself and my emotion will be controlled by only how the audiences react to my performances.
Again, however! When I danced at London with my company in last November, at curtain call, when I came back on stage I received an amazing applause,
I got confused, and I asked myself `have I provided that amazing performance? `. It was life changing! I felt the audience’s emotions and feelings by my whole body! The audience`s applause was like a big wave, went through my body.
I felt like I really shared some thing with them J
I use to get happy when I do the exercise well, use to get upset if I do it wrongly.
However, I realize that they aren`t so important any more.
The quality of movement is the priority, how I do it, what I feel it, that is the key to get to the truth, I think.
I prepare and think about next day night before. All the corrections I got, things I need to make better or right. So, to me, morning is not really the begging of the day.
Especially when I am on tour, I start to prepare for next performance straight after I have finished a performance. I usually eat dinner when technicians are doing get out from the theatre after the performance. Then I stretch my body, I thank my body for working hard, and I ask my body through massage by my hands, how is the condition and what my body need, stiff? Pain? And think about how did the performance go, what was good, what went wrong, how, why? How can I make it right by next day`s performance. When things do not go right, I sometimes even go back to the stage after the performance and try things till I get right. To some people, I look like a hard worker. But, the truth is I am just discovering and experimenting through my body :)
Like a kid playing at play ground. Like a scientist experiment his work in his laboratory!
To me, the stage is my play ground and also a laboratory!
Well, this does not sound very professional, does it?
Then, let me think what is being a professional dancer?
Well, I do have a responsibility to provide quality performances as a professional, as I get paid! However, being a dancer and working as professional is more like a mission to me.
Especially in this industry, if I started feel like it is a JOB or WORK, I mean losing the passion of being on stage, losing interest and curiosity for ballet; I think everything will fall in to pieces.
I do not think it will be possible to create and provide something beautiful, so precious to share with the audience without passion and right principal. I might be wrong L but, that is what I think at the moment.
