Confession; Real benefit of knowing my self better

I have written on my previous blog about the things I have noticed from watching my self dance, and the benefits of analysing it. However, that was all from practical side of view.

So, Today I would like to discuss how watching my self on video effected my general professional life.
Well, it is like a personal confession!

The field of profession I am in; performing arts, we all work hard everyday to get better, or deeper our understanding towards our profession. That is good and very normal, right?
However, we can not forget that we are in a very competitive field; only few jobs and places for hundreds of us! As I mentioned, we all work hard to make our self better, but, instead, some people choose to work hard on bringing other people down instead of work hard to make them self better :(
Everyone knows that, and that is clearly wrong things to do as a decent human being. There are no excuses. However, when I see how the performing arts world functions, I some times feel like that is only natural for people to start act that way. I am not saying that, that is right or correct action to choose. However, end of the day it is just we love our self and we put our self in front of rest of the people to survive, that is our nature. We all make sure of that subconsciously, that is how we all survived till now.

However, we all discussed about TIT for TAT on WBS3002, we all know and learned the benefits of it and how stupid not to communicate with others and help each other.

To me, the real benefit of watching my self on video was The Realisation.
It all started from my director told me to watch my performance on dvd. I thank him lots now.
It is not nice to see what reality is, and it knocked me down. But, I am learning a lot from it.

The best thing I have gained by watching my video was to noticed the fact;  I am not as good as I think I was.

There are a few reasons I use to think I was better than I am.

1, The industry I am in, we got to be confident!
2, I often get some good reviews in Danceeurope magazine

Since I watched my self and knowing my self more, I think I have improved as a dancer and as a person.
I started to ask for more help to my colleagues, so I see different point of view and approaches.
I am doing that because I realised that I am not as good as I wanted to be and I am desperate!
Also, I saw my colleagues on the video too, and they are as good and as bad as me!
I started respect them more, because of it. I started to listen to the people more too.
So that was the real befit to me.

From now on, every time I started to think I am better than the others, which I am sure I will! Because I am in performing arts world end of the day. I will recall the memory and the footage of my self on the video. That will make me respect others more and makes me a decent person.

Sounds like I am such a nobhead, but I am actually a nice, friendly person everyone!!!!
I just get confused sometimes ;D

Progress of how to use video, How to benefit from it

Yesterday, I actually experienced and physically gained the benefit of watching my self on the video and correcting my self.

The other day, I have recorded my self on video. And, Yesterday, I did class at the same studio and with the same teacher who taught the class the day I recorded. And, the teacher gave us exactly same class.
Then, suddenly I saw my self how I did these exercise the other day, and how I produced all the mistakes. I use the word produce, only because mistakes in Ballet does not happen coincidently. If, dancers make mistakes, there are always reasons for it, therefore I use the word Produce when I make mistakes. Anyway,  I was already correcting my self before I attend the exercises.! Even before we moved on to the exercise to exercise.
No need to explain, I had a great and a very productive class for my self that day.

I felt like I was back in time and have given an opportunity to rewrite and re do the class! And, I made it right ;D

Outcome to Income Part 2

On my previous blog, I discussed about coordination can be tricky to analyse over the video.

Today`s morning class, my colleague gave me an advice about turning, because I realised how bad I am and I was desperate, so I asked for an opinion! He told me that, turning can be much easier if dancers put less effort; almost like just marking!

I immediately tried what he suggested to me, and I found out something new about turning, new sensation.

If, I put less force and attend like almost marking it, I get less tension while I am turning!

Because of the reason above, I am more relaxed while I am turning.

So, I can feel more and scene more while I am turning ; I can collect more information about myself, what is going on, while I am turning!

The main reason why I did not turn well was; because I put more than enough force at the preparation. I think I was focusing too much to turn.  

It is harder to control the turn if there are so much force; Low of gravity!

It is still far far away from good, but it is definitely better and I feel like I am on a right truck.

To be honest, I think it is more physiological rather than physical matter to me.

That was brilliant solution to me. I thank my colleague ;D

I can learn and I should learn from every one!

Outcome to Income

Thanks to the people who read my previous blog and commented on it.

Since then, I brought my previous blog topic to my mentor to discuss.
My mentor is my pilates instructor, he use to be a professional dancer.

We exchanged the opinion and discussed about it.
One of the statements he made it clear to me was,  Dancers should ever loose the 

aesthetic point of view. I totally agreed with him about it base on my opinion which I wrote on my previous blog.

Also, we discussed about the use of mirror too.

So, I recorded my self doing morning class the other day!
I watched it and wrote down all the corrections which I need to improve? Well, improve might not be a right word, only because there are only WRITE or WRONG movements in dance. So, I guess I can not improve wrong movement. So, I say ELIMINATE the movement and replace, rewrite  with the new movement. I believe every time I repeat and go through that process the quality of the movement improve and the quality gets closer what I am aiming for. This process is kind of similar to scientists experiment using tools in laboratory, again and again till they find out whatever they are looking for.
Us, Dancers,  experience the movements using our body, again and again till we get the right movements.
And, I have just remembered that, this process is very much like kolb`s learning cycle!

I have realised few things by the process of watching and analysing my self on the video.

There are some things I can correct quite easily; I could find the solution instantly. And some things I still have no idea how to correct :(

One of the things I noticed was, if movements are simple, most likely the solution will be simple too.

For example;  Grand battments; A kicking movement of the working leg (i.e. the leg that is performing a technique).Battements are usually executed in front (en avant or à la quatrieme devant), to the side (à la seconde) or back (en arrière or à la quatrieme derrière).http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossary_of_ballet#G

Sounds simple, it is simple! However, simple does not mean easy.
Anyway, I saw my self doing Grand Battements to the back on the video. The picture below.

If, people are not familiar with Ballet, probably do not notice.
However, I am arching the upper body sticking out my ribs, opening the hip completely and shortening the left side of the body.

Supposed to look like this; the picture below. Well, that is a position, so slightly different but, similar things.

http://media.photobucket.com/image/arabesque%20royal%20ballet/cheerbabe9139/Ballet%20Dancers/Roberta%20Marquez%20Royal%20Ballet/arabesque_Roberta_Marquez.jpg

These were easy to correct. I almost immediately collected my self, because the movement is quite straight forward and simple.

However, something like turning is harder to correct. Because the movement is more complicated; mixed elements of few ballet movements, and the coordination is necessary.
I realised this When Mina commented on my SIG on Facebook. Mina gave me an advise of improving the coordination of turning. Thanks Mina!

Well, however, some thing like coordination is not simple and there are no instant solution for it. This is a difficult part :( I think this is the key to self coaching and this devides being a good self coach to your self or not; Knowing the problems and Knowing the solution of the problems are two totally different things.
It is same as I wrote on my previous blog about understanding of WHAT is happening and understanding of WHY it is happening is different.

I just need to dig deeper my knowledge and be more aware of my proprioception, experience which I have learned from the past, and try to apply them. Or, maybe I need completely different approach to it?

Visual & Kinaesthetic, External & Internal

Today, I would like to analyse my field of profession from the Visual point of view and Ｋinaesthetic point of view; External way of learning  and Internal way of learning..

I can say this is first part of self coaching project.

I guess some people may not be familiar with the word; kinesthetic awareness.

What is kinesthetic awareness?

kinesthetic awareness encompasses the body's abilities to coordinate motion (such as pitching a baseball) and the body's awareness of where it is in time and space (think dancing). When you see a troupe of ballet dancers moving together it is largely kinesthetic awareness that allows them to move in harmony together instead of bumping into each other.

http://www.quickmedical.com/health_information/fitness/proprioception_kinesthetic_awareness.html

Professional Inquiry is the way to learn what I am doing while I am doing, then this could be a good topic to anasyse.

Recently, the company I work for, they gave us dancers the DVD of current production.

The director often tells me that, I must watch myself on video so I can see how sloppy I look on stage. However, I did not watch it straight away.....

Well, I use to video myself often to see myself and analyse what I need to do to improve.

However, one day I realised that it is actually not so helpful watching me on video.

Video made me notice what I am doing wrong. So, I started to record myself and watch the video a lot in one point.

However, I realised that the field I am in, I should feel my body and aware of what I am doing instead of watching myself and FIXING myself from the outside. When, I realised that, I suddenly felt like instead of getting close the goal I am aiming for, I am getting father from it. I just did not know why but I felt like I should not rely on visual too much. So, I decided to leave my image in my head and I refuse to watch myself dancing for a while.

Because the video showed me what is happening, but, not why it is happening. And, I got confused and watching the video did not help. Well, I could not use the help from the video properly. I did not know how to use the video properly to help myself.

An example, if water is leaking from the roof. and if I only fix the part which is leaking from,  the part only I can see visually, then the water will stop leaking from there. But, water will leak from different part of ceiling soon or later. And, there will be no end. 

Best and most direct solution is to find out why it is happening. Then, how to solve the problem.

But, if we see the situation only from one direction, it is hard to realise why it is happeninig.

ehow.co.uk

Then, the other day I saw myself on the DVD.

I was shocked, I was so sloppy as the director told me.

It was a wake call to me. I just did not know why. It was not how I imagined on my head.

So, this time I watched the video and analysed differently; instead of fixing what I am doing wrong, I focused on WHY these mistakes are happening.

Then I thought about what is the advantages and also the disadvantage of watching the video and learning from it; from Visual point of view.

Advantages

1, Video does not exaggerate, Video shows only exactly what happened on that time.

2, Video can pause and slow down the footage; convenience to analyse to certain extent.

3, Video can provide bigger picture; whole stage. We can see our self as a part of performance; it provides different point of view.

Disadvantage

1, Now, I realised how to use the video properly to coach myself.

However, without knowing how to use it right, it will not work. Because video can provides only WHAT is going on, not WHY.

2, End of the day, even we understand what are we doing wrong by slowing down or pausing the footage, we cannot pause or slow down what we are doing in real life. Because, if we stop or slow down while we are dancing or break the movements down, and analyse them, that won`t work. Once stop or slow down the movements, The movements are not the same anymore. So, once go back to the normal speed, the habits are still there.

3, Dancers should feel and aware the surroundings and what are going on stage.

So we should be able to imagine whole picture without checking the video.

It is very similar to football player’s awareness on the pitch. Where ever they are, they sense where team mates and opponents are, and where the ball is.

The advantage and disadvantage of relying on physical sensation.

1, performing arts are physical arts. Dancers use their body as a tool to express whatever they need to express. Actor and singers use their voice to express.

Performing arts cannot be performed as an art without the physical sensations, body awareness, and feelings.

2, Lacking of kinesthetic awareness cause injure. And, I have noticed that dancers who do not aware of their kinaesthetic awareness injure more often than the other.

And, these dancers often rely on mirror or video instead of feeling and trust their instinct.

We should always move with the feeling and express the emotion. However, without solid technique, it cannot be a performance; it will become just a self indulgence.

No one understands actors who cannot speak or pronounce properly; even the actors had so much emotion or artistry to share with the audience, without the training and solid technique, it cannot be a performance.

Technique is only the tool to express our self on stage to share something special with audience. 

So, end of the day video can be used to check to see the gap between artist`s own internal image and audience points of view; external image.

Today I noticed and realised from writing this journal; Focus on WHY things are happening, not What is going on. Studying is analysing why it is happening and not what is going on. 

Analysing WHY will take us father and deepen our understanding to our self and the life it self.

apptoiphone.com

Deciding the award title

First thing I thought and came in to my mind after I have read the module hand book and rest was, to decide the rough structure of my award of this module, as soon as possible.

So, first things I did was to write down the ideas which I want to develop as my award for module 3630.

Mindmap, Which has been introduced to us last term.And, it was very functional for cleaning and editing of the thoughts and ideas of source, where the ideas and thoughts coming from, and where are they going, why and what I really want to discover, what I want to get out from it. Mindmap was brilliant for clearing up and get to the core of the theme or subject directly.    

I struggled to decide the award title of this module, because I had a few different concepts which I was interested in. So, I wrote mindmap of each ideas and compared them. 

   

“Self Coaching in Performing Arts”.

That is a rough title of my award of this module at the present. I would like to build and develop the ideas based on it.

I chose this title, because as I am a professional dancer I am always interested in developing the skill in my field.

One of the method I use to develop my skill is to write down the aim I want to achieve, as clear, as detail as possible. I realised that writing down the corrections and reading them is totally a different process to just thinking through in my head.

Also set the time limit to it that can provide better focus to achieve the aim.

I noticed this by teaching dancers. I often teach the young dancers as well as performing on stage with the company. Teaching is a part of the company`s educational work.

On my last term while I was studying WBS 3002 module, I realised that what I taught and how I structured the class is very much applicable to my own work. For example, To build the structure of class, decide the aim for students to achieve in each class, and especially listing my own voice while I am teaching.. Again, listening and saying is a totally a different process, like writing down and just thinking through in head. I often repeat what teachers tell me, but now I understand why I do it!  

I often deepen my understanding of what I have leaned in past by teaching. It is almost like digesting the food which I have eaten while ago. That is the fact, which I thought I already understood by experiencing through practice and performing. However, maybe, learning can only be completed by teaching or passing through to the others.

Which I have learned and discovered form the process of studying WBS 3002 last year.

So, I am going to develop the theme through teaching and actually using my body to experience the movements. Also, I will interact my thoughts with my colleagues, teachers and SIG.

Wish me luck. 

ＷＢＳ ３６３０

When I have read through this new WBS 3630 module handbook, I thought I better plan ahead and prepare well for this. As much as I enjoy completing WBS module course, if I approach the course without a solid structure I shall fail, which I have learned from the experience.

I would like to make the most of the knowledge and tools which I have learned how to apply them from the previous module, and also maintaining them to help me through the deeper understanding of the WBS module. That is my aim of this term; Advanced the knowledge to prepare for the final module.

I have learned a lot from the previous module. However, I noticed and realised a lot of things through previous module, and it gave me some regrets. For example, I do not think I fully understood the concept of the course at the beginning. Well, I roughly had an idea but I did not pay much attention to the details. So, I started to understand the module more toward the end. I actually understood more about the module after I have completed it, very ironic. I carefully compare my work with others students. I especially did not put enough effort in the digital, other evidence. I also hesitated a lot about journal writing compare to the other students. Journal writing was something I have ever done before and I worried about what is correct and wrong. However, I have understood that there are no Wright or wrong. All the journals are working process. And the evidence of working progress and roots of understanding, which will become very useful and important at the end of the term. So, I am going to be more active and positive about posting and sharing my working progress and thoughts. And, also I must be more interactive with other students, which I am still not so good at.