Choice and Causality; Prisoner's dilemma and Tit For Tat

I am writing and editing my portfolio at the moment.
Thinking through things I have learned and realized from reflecting my experience through this module.

It started off by an advice from my company`s teacher  ` Daisuke, dance like you are in Matrix. Feel the 360゜, be aware of the surroundings while you are dancing.`

So, I watched the film, which I have seen a lot of times before.
And, there a scene characters having a conversation, which threw me a big question.
In that scene, the trafficker of informations demands that, we all think we have a freedom of choice. However that is an illusion. We do not really have a freedom of choice and choice is already been made before we decide. Action, Reaction, Cause and Effect. We only make an action to understand WHY.

As this confused my mind, and I was writing my mindmap anyway for my portfolio, I started draw mindmap of life based on this theory. However, I got stuck. So, I went to my friends to discuss and gain their opinions.
And, surprisingly seems like most of people think the same as the trafficker of information; there are choice, but not really. People try to live happily because no one really wants to live sadly. We have a choice to end our life, but, really? Life is great, there is no doubt about that to me. However, more likely we are living because we were born. Again, not really a choice, is it?
Most interestingly one of my friend said that, `we are all nice to each other, it is not because we want to. It is just easy that way, because no one really wants to be bullied.` And, the person added in the end ` there really are no choice about it....`. That comment shocked me a lot. Only because on my previous blog, I mentioned this in my cooperation section; TIT FOR TAT proved that people try to be nice to each other, only because most likely we are afraid of being nasty, isolated and being socially executed. Human can not live and function our potential to the maximum if not cooperate to the other human beings. We created packs to survive from the danger or life threatening, with time that became society.
http://momngaxxx1.blogspot.com/2011/04/critical-reflection-on-networked.html


If, that is true, TIT FOR TAT is not just a strategy. At Prisoner`s Dilemma, we have NO CHOICE to make other decisions. Decisions have already made even before the game starts.


If, that is true, that is a bit sad. Because technically if that is correct, our life and fate has already been decided. That means we are living just  to understand and find out why and accept the fact of life is like a book, which already has been written, so, our job is to turn the page everyday.


Is it right? I am hoping that I am wrong in a way. Only because, other wise life is like building a plastic model based on the instruction, to destroy at the end with our end of life. That is just........


What do you think?

Critical Reflection on The Networked Professional course reader

Axelrod`s idea has started from simple questions ` when should people cooperate? and when to be selfish, do people cooperate even there are no benefit to them?`
Cooperation;

I actually never really thought of why people cooperate till I started this course.
I always thought that is just a common sense to cooperate to the others and make our life easier.
Then, I thought, why do I cooperate? Do I make an effort to corporate to the others, only because that is what I have been told to do since when I was young? 

R Axelrod`s Prisnor`s Dilemma game proved an interesting result for this question.

TIT FOR TAT was the best strategy to survive the game.

Technically that is just copying opponent`s footsteps. I am not even sure that we can call TIT FOR TAT as a strategy? Any ways, however, TIT FOR TAT produced the best result in the game.
I guess quite often same strategy functions in our network too. If, people wanted to know some informations, one of the most direct and effective ways is to open the informations we have to the others. Like hand shake. I am going to show you what I have in my hand, so can I see your`s?
It is like a business, I give you mine, so would you like to share yours? I guess in human society, our relation ships with the others are like a circle. My father, who is a business man, he always reminds me to share things with people, to be given more. What comse around goes around. Very true!
People are being nice and I also try to be nice to people too, let`s say give a respect to the others to be given. I use to think because that is how decent people behave.
However, TIT FOR TAT proved that people try to be nice to each other, only because most likely we are afraid of being nasty, isolated and being socially executed. Human can not live and function our potential to the maximum if not cooperate to the other human beings. We created packs to survive from the danger or life threatening, with time that became society. So, I agree with what Alexrod says.

However, I think TIT FOR TAT works really well, only if people want to archive the same goal in the network they are in. And, also people can provide incorrect informations sometimes, tensionally or intentionally. In that case, the person who provided the right information does not benefit any thing from the others. So, if we use TIT FOR TAT strategy, we should be aware that that could cause some confusion some times. As long as we are aware of it, TIT FOR TAT sounds like the strategy.


However, when people decided there is no link or bond, also if there are no benefit to us, we easily insist to cooperate. Other wise there can not be any poor people or poor children in this world. However, there are. And there will be always. We all feel a little bad about these people. But, not feeling bad enough to make an action, maybe donate some changes.
There are tragedy every where and in every country, it is very easy to find if we see the news everyday. We all feel sorry about these sad things, but not sad or worry enough to to do something about it.
However, very interestingly, once we find a link to incidence or to people, i,e, tragedy is happening where we use to live or tragedy is happened to our relatives. Then, suddenly we pay so much attention and try to do our best to help the situation.
I realised that, as really bad earth quake stroke Japan a month ago. And, all of my friends called me and sent me messages on Facebook checking that how I am.
It was an example, that if my friends did not have any Japanese friends like me, probably they did not feel as bad or as worried as they did then. Only because about a month before the earth quake stroke Japan, a really bad earth quake hit New Zealand. And, my friends and relatives are very sad about the news, however, it just was not the same how my surroundings and the people who are in the same networks as I am in reacted when things happened to Japan.
Also, I was talking to my mother who live in Japan, she mentioned that people usually do not cooperate these days. However, tragic like that makes people`s bond stronger and make them closer after the incidence. People in Japan started to cooperate more than before. Because that is only way to survive the situations. Ironic.


Affiliation;
 I think affiliation as  big circle or network of human relationships. To help others, to be helped.
Crisp&Turner mentioned “If experienced and influential individuals are likely to be at their preferred level of affiliation, why is it common for them to still assist younger, less experienced individuals?”.

I think there are few answers to explain why experienced people assist and help lees experienced individuals.

One of the reason is because, that is how networks function. Passing on what we have learned from the experiences to next generation. In this case, we are helping others without thinking of why.

i,e, if we see old people struggling to carry stuff, when we see child crying alone, makes us feel like should go up to them and help. These habits are in our body, almost like a reaction or reflections. Because that is what we have been told to do since when people are young.

Another reason I can think of is, some people like to help or teach less experienced people, to make them feel better. Obviously, when people is teaching  to the less experienced individuals, the hierarchy exists while the person is teaching to the less experienced people.

Also teaching something new could influence a lot to less experienced individuals, also easy way to gain some respects and being looked up. Some people use that as an advantage to secure their networks. Often, that makes stronger bonds to each others, or possibly introduce to the wider networks. Also, experienced people can manipulate less experienced people in to their network. In that case, experience people help less experienced individuals to create better, secure, safer network for them.

I personally help less experienced people because people always helped me when I was young and when I needed. So, it is my way of returning back to the society and the network I am in.

Communities of practice;
Communities of practice are groups of people which share the same or similar interests, and work together, share the informations with. The advantage of sharing common interests is to help archive the goal quicker as the organisation`s focus is clear.

However, some times at communities of practice, people become very narrow minded and blinded by the way of thinking. Because end of the day, communities of practice are full of specialists of a genre.

i,e, Often, when people create a new piece at dance companies and when choreographer is creating a piece,often choreographer see things from dancers point of view, as most of the choreographers are ex-dancer. 

Because of that, the piece could become quite self indulgent sometimes.

The best way to avoid the problem is constantly bring people from different genre in to check how things are seen from their eyes.

My job and my profession are very much based on communities of practice.
Dancers life and dance companies are like small communities, but very closed one! Like a local village pub, a signboard says `Visitor welcome!`, but not really. Once you go in to the pub people look at you funny and it just does not feel comfortable being there. Also, dancers use technical terms which only understood between them, so often when outsider join a conversation, they do not understand what dancers are talking about. It is same in different communities of practice. 
Dancers do not intentionally use these terms to isolate them self from the others. It is just people spend so much time with the communities of practice that, they forget majority of people do not get these technical terms. Often, if they spend too much time in a communities of interest more than necessary, they struggle to fit in to normal communities of people.
i.e. English language is the most widely spoken language in the world. So, English spoken people sometimes blindly think that every people speak English in this world. And, when people travel to abroad, they try to communicate with local people only using English language. And, they get confused and sometimes get angry that foreign people do not understand English.
Similar things happen when people from communities of practice go out from the community and try to communicate with others.
I guess it is comfortable to stay in same communities of interest. And, to use technical vocabularies and understand each other is like having a secret language, it makes people feel closer and feel connected. However, I personally think that is just sad. Because people start to stay in their own shell and do not wish to come out again. It makes people very small and insecure in a way. My self, Yes, I do like to spend time with my colleagues who have same interest as me, however, I always try to talk to people out side of work. It feels fresh and nice to know different people`s view.

Social constructionism;
Marleau-ponty and Heidegger stated that the world is always already there, objectively.
However, also it is us create the world by our experience and it is up to us to give a meaning to it. Also, world it self changes with us, as we learn more and experience more in life. The world do exist as many as we exist, So is reality and truth. And, also they all effected by our mood or emotional state we are in.
We have an ability to share our own experience, compare the experience to the others, and re-construct and adjust our internal world to be acceptable by others.

Networks are large social constructions (Network Professional 2010)
It says all. It is our responsibility to keep our network strictly processional. And, the networks do exist because we construct them. Network has created and constructed by us and it is still developing with us.
New, better ideas need to be shared to up date network. It is up to us to take control of networks and keep them fresh and alive.
Connectivism
We learn how to find the right answer and how connect to people through network by connectivism.
Because of the development of technologies, more source of information we have, more chance to access to knowledge we need. It is better to have more than one friend, more brains we have more experience and knowledge we can access and share.
We use all the network tools I have previously blogged, to maintain our knowledge and informations. Especially because of Web 2.0, now we can access to so many informations, also to share the informations to everyone. Web 2.0  really changed the way of learning, as Karen Stephenson mentions on The network course reader 2011, `Experience no longer considered the best teacher of knowledge. since we can not experience everything, other people`s experience, and hence other people, because because surrogate for knowledge through collecting people`

3a Current Network

When I think of my current networks, I can roughly divide them to two categories;

1, My surrounding; The network of people.

I found this image on google web site. This is my image of people network.

When I say my current network of people, it starts from colleagues I work with at my current company, my close friends, my old school teachers, old school mates, ex-colleagues, people who come to see our performance. The dancers, teachers and directors I meet when I do class or auditions at different companies.
However, to engage with the professional network and to keep the information up dated, I especially find it very useful to talk to the dancers who meet at auditions. I try to talk to the dancers who comes to the audition of the company I work for. Because their informations are often much more fresh and row than what I hear or see on the internet. And, also often they know some informations that dance companies have not up dated yet, an example; one of the dance companies were advertising for an audition. However, the dancer who came to my current company`s audition told me that, he went to the audition which has advertised as vacancy available, and after the audition he got told that they already got some one in the vacancy position. So, things like that, if we have the right informations, we can save the time, money and avoid the stress and hustle.
Also, my old dance teachers gave me job vacancy informations very often and I got job through them quite a lot.
I also have just finished touring of Romeo and Juliet last week for two months. I got that job from my old school friend! He recommended me to the director of the production. And, also the director asked me for another male dancer, so I recommended my colleague! That was a very good example of people network.

2, Technological network by Web 2.0.

My main tools of technological network is computers and mobile phones.
I engage my professional network by mainly e-mail, Linked in and facebook website.

This is my image of technological network look like.
Sharing the informations which is in our mind.
http://www.123rf.com/photo_4249758_human-network.html

Web 2.0 changed a lot of the way network worked before. Things use to be the only one way, however web 2.0 introduced us two way communication on the web; giving out the informations and also receiving them in same time. Especially some thing like our BAPP bogs are a great example. We constantly discover, learn, find new things and swap the informations and opinion on the blog.
It is so handy to have these tools to access to people. I can swap some informations with some one who lives opposite side of this planet timelessly! Without these tools I would of lost contact with my many friends and also would missed so much job opportunities.

My company`s ballet mistress, she is a good practitioner of professional networking. She always checks her mail, check her web sites and facebook. Plan things in advance and talk to lots of people very openly. That is what I have to do more to improve my professional network.
I also think `a business card` is a good tool to have. With my dance picture on it, like a small C.V. and much more handy to carry and also to receive.
I also need to create my own web site to develop my network, so that will provide more opportunities to people to access my information.

3c Source of information

My most important and useful five source of informations are;

1,Internet,

2,Magazines and 3,Paper,
4,Phone

5,By people to people, Grapevine

1, Internet;

The internet is undoubtedly, undebatably the easiest and the most convenient network to access. And, also the source of the information of this century.

What defines internet and makes it stands out from the rest of the networks is;
1,The amount of the informations internet can provides to us. Every one knows how convenience the internet is, and how important to us.
One of a good example is the infiltration of android phones. Android smart phones are every where now. That just shows how important and disparates people are to be connected to the internet, connected to the people.

2,The Speed is also one of the advantage of the internet. As long as connected to the internet, we can find most of  informations much quicker than the other networks can.

Especially, Facebook, Linkedin, Myspace.
These are the main source of social internet network.
Facebook and Myspace are mainly used by for social reason. People can chat, write on the wall, send pictures, gossiping and swap informations. Things are getting even more easier and handy as android phones becomes more popular.
However, facebook could be used as a business tool too. Some of the wedding companies and accessory companies set the system to send advertisements over the facebook straight away when people change the status single to engaged.
Linkedin is more specified and mainly for business.

I can see that Facebook is a big social network on the web. Also my company adverts the audition on the facebook, also I got a job over the information on the facebook before. However, only because I knew the employer and employer knew me personaly.

However, there is also some down sides too;

1,Reliability is one of the down sides of the internet.
There are so much informations on the internet, also lots of unreliable informations too.
It is difficult to find and choose the right informations on the web some times, as people can write what ever they want.

2,Network Communication can be quite tricky. The internet can provides us a wide range of the choice of the people. It gave us an opportunity to connected to more people on the web.
Wide choises, however shallow. Because people can not really know each other till they meet.
On a Letter, mood and personality effects on writings, so there is already a personalty on the letter. However, who ever writes on the internet is all the same as people type. There is no personalty shows up on the screen by typing. Things could be any one`s words, could just be pasted and copied.

An example; My company held an audition recently, and my director was confused and a little bit angry for some reason.
Director actually has stopped the exercise in the middle of the audition and told everyone that, He checked all the C.V.s and footage which he had received by e-mail, and he chose the dancers who only seem suitable for the company. He was very careful about the invitation for the audition as space was limited. However, quite few candidates were not exactly like on the video or what C.V. says. Which they have sent to him. He had to pull some of the dancers out of the audition straight away. He was disappointed about the gap of what he saw on the internet and at the audition.

It is begging of 21st century. it has been about only 30 year since the internet has been disclosure to the public. I personally think we are all still exploring and finding the right way of using the internet, otherwise we are not using internet all the time to search the right informations constantly. We all think that we are control of all the informations which web can provides to us. however, I think we are still lost in so much informations of the internet.

2 & 3, Magazines, Books, Papers;.
They use to be a very important source of the information till internet appeared.
However, they still are a source of information.
Their informations are relayable, as professional editors and companies research and check all the informations before the papers has published to the public.
However, we can check most of the informations which is on the papers and magazines as well as on the internet too, these days.

One of the differences are papers aren`t as up dated as the internet.
Most of the famous, well known magazines and papers have their own web sites, like Daneceurope Magazines`s audition web site;http://www.danceeurope.net/site/jobs.shtml
Dancedirrect`s audiiton web site;http://www.dancedirect.com/uk/Auditions/
Also Dancerspro web site provides informations very often;http://www.uk.dancerspro.com/
and they up dates the informations on the web, but they can not up dates the paper till next one will be issued.

4, Phone;
When I say Phone, I mean mobile phones. Mobile phone is one of the must have business tool.
Can be connected to the internet too. My self, I get job offers through phone calls quite often.

5, From People to People;
I personally think this could be the most relayable source of the information.
Of course, we can not take all the informations from any random people. Same as the internet.
However, difference to the internet is we can actually physically being there with the people.
So, we are more aware of the atmosphere and also to know what exactly is going on. It is very easy to fake and cover, bend and twist the truth on the net.
If, the informations come from the relayable, trustable people, most likely that could be the correct information.

And, what this network makes difference to the other network is, this is not just digging the information like searching on the net or reading a paper, these are only one way network; Input.
However, this is actually a communication; Output and Input.

Inquiry Task

What interests me;
I always thought, and find interest in WARMING UPs as it can be very individual. It also confuses me some times :( And it is a great opportunity to research and put all my thoughts together.

How I found interest in Warming Ups;

One day, it was a chilly winter day. I wanted to warm my self up but the stage was cold, so I decided to warm up in a changing room as there were carpets and also heating is on. So, after while I moved on to the stage just before the class starts. Then, I saw all of colleagues warming up  on the cold stage.

During the tour dancers usually go on stage to do warm ups, even stage is cold. And I noticed often some of the dancers not really doing any thing practical, just laying on the floor and having a conversation. Then I thought `What is this? Aren`t they cold?`.

Also suddenly, the thought struck me. I started to think `Is this really a warm up?`. 

Things I noticed;

I thought about this NONSENSE for a while, I also talked to the dancers, casually! and eventually I came down to a conclusion of this strange behaver of dancers. Which is; if we taught to do things since when we are young, we often forget the most important things; the reason and why, and things will just become a routine! So, my conclusion is, some dancers just do things when the time comes, without thinking. Because that is what trained dancers do since when they were young and also got told to do so.

Then I thought;

Since that day, it made me really think how the warm ups supposed to be done, and the reason of why we do warm ups before class and performance. What is warm up for? Do we really need to do it? How does that effect us performers?

My thoughts as a dancer;

My self as a dancer, mentally and physically I always try to be flexible, so my mind can mould in to any shape like a clay, and body can adapt quickly in to any situation, also to constantly learn new things. My mind to be opened, my body to be aware.

And, I always try not to be afraid of challenge new things, to change my style and change my thoughts.

What is warm up to me?;

Human body does not stay exactly the same every day, surprisingly. I do not think people pay much attention to this fact, because I think end of the day they aren`t a huge difference. However to us dancers, these small changes are big difference!

Warm ups are a way to bring body and mind back to neutral, to me.

I have also decided that Warming Ups need to be changed everyday based on the condition of our body, to notice the difference and adjust them straight away, or latest by the time performance starts. Otherwise, dancers will be in a big trouble!

I constantly ask my self;

1, Am I doing things right?

2, Is there any better way? ie, can my movement be more efficient or ecological?

3, Why am I doing this? What am I getting out form this? How does it feel?

4, How do I move compare to the others?

Process of creating my own warm ups;

Based on these questions, I started to create my own warm ups combined with what I have been taught before and with my knowledge of human anatomy.

Everyday, I plan my own warm up before class.
It is like having a conversation with my body. Everyday, I learn something new about my body!
For example, when I pick something up from the behind, I twist into the left side to pick things up without thinking. So, one day I tried to twist into the right side to pick things up, I was shocked how stiff my right side of upper back was, compare to my left side!
So, I try to work out what my body needs, and add new movements into my warm ups everyday. It is like a having a personal trainer in my self!
I also began to watch other dancers warm ups carefully. I researched on the Web, also started to read books about it. I began to talk to more people to ask their opinions and advices too.

And a lot of former professional dancers and dance teachers recommended me to try Yoga.

I was always interested in Yoga, so it was a go sign form God to learn Yoga ;D

One day, I was researching on the web for more informations to improve my warm ups. Then, I found a footage on Youtube, there was a short footage about a guy, about his daily routine. 

Then, I suddenly realised that I actually have seen him long time ago in Japan on live.

What shocked me the most was the way he warms up. It was very similar to my own warm up! Or more less what he was doing was things I was planning to add in my warm ups in a future!

So, I started to research about him and his life style. 

Rickson Gracie; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickson_Gracie
He is one of my inspiration now.
The attitude toward his profession, the way he discipline him self. It is not what he does, how he lives, that inspires me.
A complete self control. His movement is beautiful and so effortless like an animal, however he is always calm, his emotion is so precisely controlled so his behaver is controlled too.
I find his life style is similar to dancers daily routine, maybe a bit more extreme than dancers life style. But, principal is very similar.
What interests me the most about him is his training method. Him and his Gracie trive created their own method of fighting style.
And, I am especially would like to know more about the way he warms up. Only because I believe that, that is the key to his success and that makes him stands out from the others.
Mr Gracie`s warm up is different to normal martial arts and dance warm ups. He combines his own style of yoga and breath exercise. I think that is what I am trying to archive, at the moment.

Below is a link to his short footage.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTi_E78DSK4
My current warm up;
I often start from relaxing my spine and try to loose each vertebra, with slow and deep breath.
This exercise brings my mind and body into neutral. To focus, and aware of my self more.
And, one of the things I found and trying to avoid while I am warming up is, to not to talk to anyone. It is amazing how quick the focus disappears when you start to talk!
At the moment, I think more I talk, more I lose the concentration.
However, that could be only because I am still mentally weak and not aware of my surrounding all the time. Maybe one day I would be able to keep the focus, and still be able to chat with others.
I will see!

Journal writing experience based on reflecting journal

Today, I chose a topic; which is about the audition of the company I work for.

I think it is a suitable topic for the course as I am going to reflect and compare last year and this year`s event using Frame work of Mr Reid and Ms Moon.


Description;
It was about this time last year, located at Riverfront theater; where the company based on in Wales.
   
I had a mixture of strange feeling before the audition!
I was exited, but also a bit anxious. I go to auditions to get a job now and again, but it was not exactly the same as normal audition; I was already member of the company in that time. However, that does not guarantee my position! So, I was more anxious than go to normal open audition in a way.
   
But, it seems like my feeling and thoughts are much calmer and much clearer lately. So, I shall try to analyse them with help of using Moon and Reid`s frame work.

This is how it starts.


1, The company members ask to come to the audition every year.

2, But, it seems like company dancers have a choice; need to be there, but do not have to be in the audition; sit next to the directors and watch the candidates or do the audition.

3, End up some how, I am only the one in the audition, rest of the company dancers watch the audition.

So I have options; sit and watch or to be in the audition.

And, my complicated thought comes from that option.

Well, things are simple in a way; just Do or Do Not.

Initial Reflection; My thoughts and feeling at the time.

1,Maybe there are reasons rest of the company dancers
are not joining the audition....

2, If I dance not as well as the others, it is easier to compare as I am dancing right next to them....

3, What the company dancers think about I am doing the audition with candidates......

4, To be watched by whole company members will be strange, because that never usually happen when we work. It will feel like been judged.

My mood was a bit gloomy and also a little paranoid :(

If, I explained by colour probably like this colour.

If, I explain by textured, like
chewy, and a bit hard, not necessary big, but when you try to chew, the texture bounce back to your teeth, like it resists to be chewed.

If, I explained by sounds,  Dry, kind of bouncy, because my thoughts are bouncing around in my head.                                                                                                                       

                                               

                                           http://www.egyptiancastle.com/community/kids/learn/sounds/PINGPNG2.WAV                      
                                            
            
                                                                  
   If, explained by taste, it is like a piece of bread, which has left whole day on a kitchen side, it gets dry and hard. And you do not know it has left for a whole day! and you put that in your mouth. It is still eatable, however, not just as same as what it supposed be.

   If, explained by Smell, it will be metallic smell.

Any ways, nothing unexpected happened as I did not much to expect.




So, in the end I just joined in!

Because....


1, It is a free class; I do not have to pay!

2, Every single classes I take, there are opportunity to improve!

3, I thought there might be good dancers in the audition and I can learn from them!

4, It is a good opportunity to be compared with non company dancers, and I prove that I am better than rest of the candidates, then, my position will be secured than just sitting and watching.

5, I just like ballet. It is impossible for me just sit and watch if there is a class going on!





Evaluation;
The audition was a pure fun! I really enjoyed the class.
I felt comfortable, I did not do any thing silly, no more than I usually do in a class or on stage.
I think I controlled my self well, because some times dancers try to do more than usual, to try to be better than usual, does it make sense? At the audition, what we have to do is to prove we have steady technique and nice presentation. Trying some thing we do not usually try and fall on the floor is not acceptable. In that sense, I saw quite few dancers trying to prove them in a wrong way, and made their movement unnatural and awkward to watch :(

I just think I was generally calm whole way through the audition, so I think that is why every thing went quite smoothly for me. I could of got over exited like some of the dancers, and do unnecessary difficult step and injure my self. But, that did not happen; I controlled my emotion, so more likely I choose silly things not to happen to me.

Description;

So! This year`s audition has held a few days ago at the same place as last year.


I would like to analyse How I felt about this year`s audition, and HOW things changed, and WHY.

Initial Reflection;


HOW?
I feel much more positive about the audition.

WHY; 
Because things went well last year and I enjoyed it.


HOW?
I am not as worried as last year

WHY;
Because I did last year and I know what to expect and what is it like to be in that situation

Well, to be honest, I felt like I did not do well as previous year. Well, I danced fine, I think.
Because I have learned a lot in last twelve month, so it is impossible to dance worse than last year`s audition, technically. However, generally I did not feel as comfortable as last year, and I did not enjoy as much as I did last year. My mood and attitude toward audition was not as light or as up lifting as last year. Because of the reason below.

Evaluation;

1, The audition ran differently this year.

2,There was a lot of waiting around this year, so I got mentally, physically got tired to keep my self warm and stimulate my brain to dance. I have to be aware so I can jump up and dance any time.

3, There were way more dancers in a class than last year.

I have reflected last year`s experience. And, I was mentally prepared; planned.
However, it did not go as well as I planned. Didn`t Mr Kolb`s learning cycle work properly? No, no, it worked perfectly well. There were some thing I should of planned but I did not! Which was to prepare and plan, and also do not relay 100% on the experience, things changes with time, so I should of planned plan B. So, just in case if things runs differently I do not get confused.
That was what I did not plan and think  of! I relaid on my joyful experience of last year and I thought it is going to be the same! I did not use the learning cycle properly.

Reflect the events by using The Frame Work 

This is a picture of Ms Moon and Mr Kolb`s cycle;

the process of learning.

http://sites.google.com/site/reflection4learning/why-reflect

REFLECT; I had nothing to Reflect on at last year`s audition. I was a bit exited and also anxious.

PLAN; I had no plan, I went and did it.

ACT; I did the audition class.

OBSERVE; I thought the day went well. There were nothing to worry about.

REFLECT; I recalled my experience and tried to remember how I felt and What I have learned from the day.

PLAN; For this year`s audition, I planed to focus on clean, effortless technique. And, respect the music more, dance with music! also, all the transition steps must be done smoothly. Transition of steps are as important as big steps.

And, to ENJOY! That is the most important thing at the audition, I thought. That is What I learned at the time. No matter how good dancers are, if they look nervous and do not look like having a fun, if dancers are not enjoying them self, how the judges enjoy watching dancers!?

ACT; I did this year`s audition,

OBSERVE; It did not go as well as last year. Maybe I did not do so bad, but I did not feel as good as last year. That was not how I planned!

REFLECT; I think I was confused, only because I had last year`s experience and information to recall, and made a plan based on them. But, the audition ran differently this year and I was not aware of the change.

PLAN; So, for the future, I need to reflect my experience and make a plan based on it. 

However, also try not to relay on the experience 100%. I also have to make plan B, just in case things run differently. 

Another View;


A good friend of mine came to this year`s audition.
I know the person really well. So, I try to see the day through my friend`s point of view.

My friend worked with the company before when one of us injured during the tour for few weeks.
So, if I was my friend, I would think I stand on a better chance than the other dancers as I worked with them before. However, also there are lots of dancers, so it is not going to be that easy.
I think my friend was confused a bit as everyone was, about how the audition ran; it was not very organised. It did not start on time. Not to know when the class starts, these small things could be a stress for candidates.
Look around and tried to find some familiar faces to talk? To relax :)
Once class starts, there were not enough space. So, it was hard to show dancers whole potential, because we are all worried about kicking the others.
After the warm up barre, half of the dancers sent away from the audition. Did they call my number to stay? They did! Thank god! First stage was fine.
Okay, now the dancing part. I need to prove that I was better than before as they know me. I have to show that I can do better than before! But, class carries on and stop, dance, stop. It is very strange and not organised. The director and the assistant look like having a problem with matching numbers and dancers:(
And, also why the company dancers joining the audition? That is unusual. Company dancers joining the company audition? I do not agree with that!
Are director and assistant watching me dance? or are they watching the others?
Class has finished, if they call my name, I am going to learn company`s repertory. Are they going to call my name? please ......They did not :(
Never mind, these things happens all the time in auditions, I am use to it.

I travelled away to Wales to do audition, costed lots and did not get a job. It was nice to see some familiar faces but, I feel like I wasted my day...I wonder which dancers going to get the job, why did I sent away? What is the difference between the dancers who stay till the end and me?

Themes & Things I have learned;
So, I did not enjoyed the day as much as I could of.
And, mentally, physicality I got tired after. But, the day taught me some new things. Also, it was really nice to see the dancers from over world, that was exiting!
And, I realised that most likely things do not go as I plan. So, I have to open my mind to adapt mentally, physically to any situation. That is what I have learned from this year`s audition.

When I do audition next time, I will relax more and be prepare for a long waiting around too!      

I think I am learning and getting to know how to prepare and be aware through the reflective cycle of learning. Not, just from the experience!
Mr Dewey stated as “We do not learn from experience…we learn from reflecting on experience.”
I totally agree with you Mr Dewey, don`t you?





                                                              

Re-Capture Task 2c with Kolb`s Learning Cycle

Learning Cycle; Dancers learning process

I suddenly realised I use Mr Kolb`s learning Cycle everyday of my dancer life!

I was teaching a class a few days ago, I was explaining to the dancers that, I give dancers corrections and advices, but there is a possibility that I teach them completely differently next day, only because I am also still learning and things I learn through my experience most likely to up garde and re-discovered by another experience. So, this is the way of understanding, the process of improvement is to

1, Contrive: Practice based on the theory we structured, and reflect on the experience.

2, Build: Experience how things work on the stage applying what we contrived.

3, Reflect and review: Criticise the performance,  recall the experience.

4, Re- structured: Analyse what worked on the performance, what went wrong, how and why. If, the way we practice and the theory did not work, scratch them and start from the begging applying the experience we had previously.

then, it suddenly clicked! It is very much based on Mr Kolb`s Learning Cycle! I actually heard what I said and I could not believe it!





Mr Kolb`s Learning Cycle                     

Picture of Mr Kolb`s lerning cycle                     http://www.ldu.leeds.ac.uk/ldu/sddu_multimedia/kolb/static_version.php  

Daisuke`s Dance Cycle

Mr Kolb`s Learning Cycle is a tool which dancers can apply to their professional life. My self, I use this tool to find my self, and re-learn what I already thought I know or I already grasped. In dancers life, there is no end. Dancers always have some thing new to learn. Some times it feels like you have learned all. However, soon you realise that is just a beginning. What dancers trying to archive is still so far. Learn, try, fail, try again, some time goes well, but it was not actually correct, so even though it looked right and felt like it was right, again, few steps back and check why it was not correct. But, every time re-try things, the quality gets better. It is always like one step back to two step forward, there is no short cut. As you can see from the learning cycle, we always come back to where we started!

My self, I do Zen.
In Japan, we have a famous wisdom ` 守　破　離`, it pronouns as `Shu Ha Li`.
It is in a way very similar to Mr Kolb`s learning cycle. I use to do martial arts and music lesson, and especially in calligraphy lessons, they are very important.
They mean

守; Learn from your mentor selflessly, good and bad, every thing. Do never question your mentor and be as one as mentor mentally.


破;   It will take awfully long time, but when the time comes, when students learn all, break through all the theory and technique you have learned and forget every thing.


離; Graduate and leave, from the mentor and it self. In this final stage, students shall forget every thing they have learned and break through all. So, what left in them are so pure, so natural, the technique really is deep in their mind and body, like they had since they were born. Also mentor`s thought will be living with them and passing on to next generation.  


http://senseis.xmp.net/?ShuHaRi


I see Mr Kolb`s learning cycle also in my favourite book call `Zen in art of archery` by Eugen Herrigl.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/5992779/eugen-herrigel-zen-in-the-art-of-archery

The main person`s learning process of archery beautifully demonstrates Mr Kolb`s learning cycle.